Submitted by Marla Garner
Co-founder The Admin Allies
I don’t have the holy grail answer to solving toxic co-workers’ issues. If I did, I would be able to solve the problem of the co- workers who find it necessary to tell me what to do and when even though they are not my manager. Do I push back and tell them to back off? If I do tell them that I will manage my tasks as I see fit, what are the consequences? Do I want to deal with someone reporting to my manager that I was rude and discourteous because I spoke up for myself? No, I don’t. Maybe you have issues with gossiping or with co-workers who don’t show for meetings or do show but then don’t follow through with what is needed for the project. I recently had a colleague who only partly did what was required on her end for our holiday lunch. Whatever your toxic colleague dilemma, maybe the following suggestions will be helpful.
Have an honest conversation with your peer. I mentioned this on our upcoming podcast about toxic workplaces as well. Perhaps, your colleague does not realize that what they are doing is bothering you. Keep in mind that an honest conversation should never be a reprimand to your peer. They are your co-worker, not your subordinate. The conversation also should not be an accusation listing all the things that you think your colleague has done wrong. That is a very easy way to make your colleague feel attacked and to damage your working relationship.
Don’t complain to your boss, if possible. This will only make it look like you can’t control the situation or that you like to grumble. It serves no purpose unless you are taking solutions to your boss as well to counteract the behavior or to improve the situation.
Establish boundaries with your co-workers. If your issue is that your colleague gossips and that bothers you, then saying something like “I don’t really listen to gossip” might help them understand your boundaries.
Keep in mind that the end goal is to have a happier and more productive workplace. As I stated in the beginning, these are not holy grail solutions but hopefully, they will be helpful to you in the future.
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